[TAE] Holiday Blues

Monday, November 28, 2016

This year has been…difficult. Not just for the things going on in the world at large, but for my wife and I this has been a particularly rough year. Financially and personally, from a lack of steady income that’s caused both of our credit ratings to take a serious dive, through a series of medical problems for each of us, and the loss of her grandfather after what happened last year…it was rough to say the least.

Perhaps that’s why, as we edge closer to December and the holidays it brings (not to mention my wife’s birthday on the 16th, and both of my parent’s birthdays), this year doesn’t feel as festive as previous years have. 

We don’t have any family to look forward to spending the holidays with, this year. My parents can’t make it out to see us, and we certainly can’t make it to see them. Her father’s passed away, her mother is dealing with the loss of her parents, and we don’t even really have any local friends to spend time with.

For the first time in my life, the holidays are actually looking depressing. So how do I handle it?

Honestly, as of this writing…I don’t know. I know you all were probably expecting some expounding on being positive or focusing on the good things…but this particular writing day has caught me in a slump. Still, even as I have never been able to end angst stories in a completely hopeless place (Miracle being my most famous example of this), I can’t let myself end this on a negative note, even as I work through my feelings via “bleeding on the page,” as my mother-in-law says.

With that in mind, I’m going to say what good things HAVE happened this year.

My Patreon is starting to take off, with people enjoying my book and all the other little perks. My professional gaming career is launching, and I’ve done more artwork this year than in the last two years combined.

My wife has a handle on her Cushings Disease, as long as she can take her medication regularly. I’m physically healthier than I’ve been in years – with more stamina and strength than I can remember having. My wife and I are still deeply in love, and our cat is the absolute joy of our lives.

We have family, we have friends. We have a future ahead of us that we just have to reach for a bit harder and we’ll get there. So yes, 2016 has been difficult. Yes, it does feel like I don’t have a lot to be thankful for, and this holiday season is seeming more depressing than joyous. But when it comes down to it, my life isn’t that bad. There are many people who have it SO much worse.

And besides – holiday lights, Christmas songs, and the over-all feeling of the holidays are still very real things. And let’s be honest – who can stay depressed while looking at shiny things and listening to happy music?

Happy Holidays, my readers. What do you do when you get the holiday blues? Share with me in the comments!

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