These Ancient Eyes: Beating The Heat

Monday, July 25, 2011

I don’t like heat.

This might sound obvious, coming from a dire wolf therian, but heat does not agree with me. You get over about 75 degrees Fahrenheit and I start getting fairly uncomfortable.

Lately, the temperature around here has been rising into the 90s during the day. Needless to say, I’ve been a very uncomfortable puppy.

But while a wolf in the wild might only have the option of lying down in shade and panting in order to beat the heat, a human has quite a few more options. I can turn on the air, which finances have kind of dictated be kept to the minimum recently, so that option is out. I can turn a fan on me, but the nearest place to put one is across the room, and to get it to reach me I must turn it up on medium – and that gets loud. Loud is distracting in a work environment. Ok, so scratch the fan.

I could sit with an ice pack on the back of my neck or the small of my back! Except that it gets all goopy after a few minutes and ceases being cold, between the heat of the outside world and heat of my body… Ugh, that doesn’t work either.

A cold shower! I could take a cold – the bathroom is sweltering. Ok, not a cold shower.

I could drink water with ice. Ahh, the perfect way to beat the heat. Gah! I just gave myself stomach cramps! Ok, too much cold plus hot body equals upset stomach. Scratch the ice water.

I could… ah… There’s got to… I’m human! There must be a heat-beating benefit to possessing this physical form!

Then again, laying in the shade and panting is looking better and better all the time.

Things aren’t as bad as I just portrayed, by the way. That was essentially playing up for humor’s sake. I do have a fan turned on me, and I am drinking cold water. It’s nice. But that doesn’t change that it’s still too hot. Could someone get the world’s thermastat fixed? Maybe reset it about, oh… 10,000 years? Kthnxbai. 😛