Angel – Vampire Weaknesses

It all started because Wesley left one of his stupid books out and Cordy got a good look at it. Well, I suppose it’s kind of my fault too. If I laughed more in the first place, maybe Cordy wouldn’t have been as curious, and I wouldn’t be in this mess. I guess I should start at the beginning.

“Angel,” Cordy called from downstairs. “Could you come down here for a minute?”

What can I say, when she calls me, I come. Hey, if you knew her like I do, you would, too

I came down the stairs and saw Cordelia sitting on the couch with a big smile on her face. That alone should’ve tipped me off to the fact that she was up to something.

“Yeah, what’s up?”, I asked, finishing buttoning my blue shirt. Cordy had been trying to get me to wear more colors, and since Connor was born, I’ve been trying to oblige her more. I glanced around the living room, actually the entrance area of the Hyperion Hotel which was now my home. It was almost too quiet.

“Wes took Fred, Gunn, Lorne, and Connor to see the new Disney movie,” Cordy said, answering my unspoken question. “So it’s just the two of us.”

I nodded, and settled on the couch next to her. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. Part of me wanted to put my arm around her and urge her to snuggle against me, another part wanted to get up and leave. I didn’t know what to do. I hate dilemmas like that. Fortunately, Cordy solved that problem for me. She sighed and leaned against me, placing her head against my shoulder. I bit back a vampiric purr. A purr can mean several things, but most of the time it denotes affection for the person being purred to. I didn’t know if Cordelia knew that or not, or worse, she might think that I was growling at her. Our relationship can be really confusing at times.

Almost absently, she brought her hand up and began scratching my side. It was all I could do not to purr that time. Oh, God. That felt so good! I couldn’t stand it. I squirmed away, gently resettling in a slightly different position so that her hand couldn’t reach my side anymore. She giggled.

“Sensitive much?”, she asked, playfully. Then she started on my stomach. Oh, no. I could see, or, rather, feel, where this was going. Not that I didn’t like the idea, though. She brought the other hand up to join the first one. I allowed a small moan of pleasure to slip out, causing Cordy to giggle again. Against my better judgment, I let my eyes drift shut.

“Angel,” Cordelia said, continuing to rub my stomach. “Can I ask you something?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

I shifted my position back to where I’d started, allowing her access to my side, again. She wasted no time in finding that same sensitive spot. This time I did purr. I still had my eyes closed, but, judging by the way she spoke, I knew that I’d made her smile by purring. I guess she knew the difference between purring and growling after all. Whew.

“Do you like this?”


“Good. You know some of those old books on vampires that Wes keeps in his office?”

“Yeah, I know,” I said, keeping my eyes closed and continuing to purr.

“Well, Wesley found an interesting passage in one and translated part of it for me. That’s where I read about this. According to that book, all vampires love to be touched, and, though their sensitivity to pain is greatly diminished, a vampire is extremely sensitive to gentle scratching, rubbing, and other types of gentle touches. Would you agree?”

“Uh-huh.” I could feel Cordy unbuttoning my shirt and sliding her hands inside. I shivered with pleasure as she began to scratch and rub my bare skin.

“Since you agree with this, and judging by the goofy look on your face, you do, I would like to ask you one more thing that I read in that book, okay?”

“Anything,” I said, letting out another quiet moan. I then felt her hands withdraw. Annoyed with the sudden lack of contact, I opened my eyes to see Cordy grinning mischievously at me. I suddenly had a bad feeling.

“Are you ticklish, Angel?”

Uh-oh. “Uh, no. I, I don’t think so. Why?” I slowly stood up and began backing away. Of course, this only prompted her to come after me.

“Oh, nothing,” she said, playfully stalking me. “Just a little something that I read.”

She was coming at me, wiggling her fingers menacingly. I suddenly bolted for the stairs. She chased me, laughing. “I’m gonna catch you!”, she called after me. So help me, I was actually enjoying this little chase.

I ducked into my room and slammed the door. Unfortunately for me, there was another door. Cordelia ran through that one before I could get to it and flying tackled me onto the bed. Then she started tickling. Ok, so maybe I am ticklish. Extremely.

“Cord-“, I gasped out as she tickled my bare stomach and ribs. “Stop…stop…please!”

“Oh no,” she said, laughing as I bucked and squirmed, desperate to get away from her torturing fingers. “You need to laugh more, Mister Vampire. And I just figured out how to get a few giggles out of you.”

“Ahhh! No! Stop…… I….can’t…stand…it!” I was howling with laughter, rolling from side to side. Cordy just kept coming. Then she found that spot between my ribs that just drives me up the wall. I let out a rather undignified screech and begged her to stop tickling me. Finally, after what seemed like hours, she stopped. Completely exhausted from fighting her off, I collapsed, lying on my back on the bed. Cordy flopped beside me, panting.

“Well,” she said, grinning at me. “Remind me to thank Wes later.”

“Only…if…you…remind…me…to…kill…him….afterwards.” I panted, still giggling occasionally.

We lay like that for nearly an hour after that, Cordelia eventually began using the other things that she had discovered to calm me down and get me purring again. We were still there when the others came home that evening.

The next day, Wes was curious about what Cordy had learned. So, he decided to have her demonstrate, on me, of course. I agreed, on the condition that we didn’t demonstrate how ticklish I’d turned out to be. Cordy playfully said that she’d experiment with that later. Then she poked me in the ribs, causing me to snort out a giggle. I growled, playfully, and snapped at her. She just laughed.

Wesley translated a little more of the book that afternoon, and came across something interesting. Apparently, when a vampire is in “game face”, as Cordy calls it, their sensitivity to touch is greatly heightened. Again I say: Uh-oh. This was not a good thing. I gulped, and Cordy gave me a playfully evil look.

“So,” she said, looking at Wesley. “How do I make him do that?”

I hoped that she didn’t notice how I was slowly backing away. “Hey!” Oops, she noticed. “Get back here, you coward!”

“Uh-uh!”, I called back. “No way! I don’t even like to be seen like that, let alone touched, so back off!”

“No way, Angel!”, Cordy called after me, giggling. “Wes, help!”

“When you catch him,” Wes called, chuckling. “Poke him in the nose, hard! That should work!”

I kept running and eventually wound up back in the living room. I turned around to face Cordy, who was stalking me again.

“No, Cordy,” I said, practically begging. “Please?” She grinned and pounced me, knocking me onto the couch. Then she poked my nose. I let out a small growl, realizing with a shock that it had worked, I was in “game face”.

“Ah-ha!”, Cordy said triumphantly. “Got ya.”

She started scratching my side, going right to that special spot. My eyes rolled back and I began to purr, much louder than before. Apparently, my sensitivity to touch WAS greatly heightened. I moaned and relaxed. Cordy was doing exactly what she had been doing the day before, unbuttoning my shirt and sliding her hands inside again. I knew that my mouth was hanging open slightly, and I didn’t care. I felt good, really good. Uh-oh, almost too good.

“Uh, Cor- Cordy?”, I said quietly. “I’d stop that now, if I were you.”

“Why? You’re enjoying this.”

“I know, that’s why. I am dangerously close to a moment of perfect happiness, here.”


She stopped and I opened my eyes. I was still in game face and I attempted to look away. Cordy, however, had other ideas. When I tried to get up, she knocked me over and sat on me.

“Hey!”, I blurted. “What’re you doing?”

She grinned evilly at me. “I’m not done, yet.” She had that dangerous look, again. That was the same way she’d looked at me the day before, just before she started…. Oh-no.

“Cordy, I know what you’re thinking. Don’t even.”

She wiggled her fingers next to my bare stomach. “I said I’d experiment with this later. It’s later.”